JM Barrie’s Rosalind and the Search for Authenticity
“This is my real self…if I have one.” With this line, the triumphantly middle-aged central character in the 1912 play “Rosalind” by JM Barrie reveals herself with a mixture of bravado and vulnerability. She has been caught out — by a much younger man – playing a part, pretending to be something she is not. Her alter ego is Beatrice Page, an exquisite and much younger actress, celebrated for her portrayal of Rosalind in As You Like It. As Mrs. Page, she attempts to explain the charade to the bemused young man, and reveals her many masks, donning and discarding them with dizzying speed and facility.
Apparently Barrie was married to an actress, and knew what will-o’-the-wisps they can be. Like Barrie’s wife, I’m an actor. I delight in playing different roles, whipping those masks on and off
. As I immerse myself in my part I often find that there are points of connection between the character’s “real self” and mine. I have just finished playing Barrie’s delightful creation, Mrs. Page, on stage. As my connection with her grew through rehearsal and performance, I was struck, not only by the loveliness and whimsicality of Barrie’s dialogue (I put his writing amongst my other favourite playwrights — Tennessee Williams and William Shakespeare) but also by the deep truths Barrie expresses through Mrs Page. She says, “Never having been more than twenty-nine, not even in my sleep — for we have to keep it up, even in our sleep, you know — I began to wonder what it felt like to be middle-aged. I wanted to feel the sensation…hoping that here I might find the lady of whom I was in search…meaning, myself.” These lines struck a chord, or perhaps a series of chords. In many ways, my desire to know myself and — just as important — to be known by another, my desire to be able to lower the mask, and be my real self, is much like hers. I desire it, and yet I fear it.
Mrs. Page says, “…you should never, never ask an actress’ age.” The rule of thumb in theatre is that one can play ten years up or ten years down. To play in Rosalind, however, one must be able to pass for twenty-nine as well as mid-forties. If it works, call it suspension of disbelief, or the magic of the stagelights, because I do not in my everyday life look anything like twenty-nine.
“But off the stage! I knew her off!” cries the young man in bewilderment. People often ask me my age, surprised to find I have adult children. Although I prefer to be mysterious on that subject, lately this question has started to unsettle me. Perhaps I should be flattered, but in fact I am old enough to have grown children. I was no child bride. I am who I am and I look how I look. Any wrinkles, crinkles or other marks of the passage of time, have been honestly come by, and I’m proud of them. The rest I can only put down to good genes. But these are issues of the external person. What about the internal?
Barrie, best known as the author of Peter Pan, was clearly fascinated with the idea of pretending, and of the notions of realness and authenticity. As humans, we all protect our vulnerabilities behind masks. As an actor, if I can put on and take off the masks of my character, perhaps I will give myself the courage to do so in real life. And, like me, Mrs. Page has layers of masks. She continues to be a huge flirt, even in her guise as a middle-aged lady. Even after Charles, the young man, has accepted this middle-aged incarnation as her real self, she denies it. “Is it? I wonder…Even now I’m only playing a part.”
Beatrice both wants to be real, and yet wants to maintain an illusion. Her flights of imagination of what might have been are entrancing. She might have been “some happy unknown woman dancing along some sandy shore, with half a dozen little boys and girls hanging onto (her) skirts.” And yet, she is loathe to give up the illusion. She wants to be the coquette, wants to tantalize her admirers. And why not? What sacrifices do we make unnecessarily, thinking that a given behaviour is at odds with our state in life? I think, more power to you, Beatrice! I am who I am. I look how I look. I act how I act. This is the real me. At least, at this moment in time!
While, like Beatrice, I am a relentless self-examiner, I think I like the magic, the illusion, the mystery of being more than meets the eye. And maybe that’s why I am an actor.
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Wonderful first post, Barbara – Bravo!
Looking forward to reading more…